Recollection
by Aritella
Summary: A collection of stories after the death of Mikan from the people who loved her.


Disclaimer: I do not own gakuen I did, I will not be writing fanfiction ;)

"Hey Koko, wait up!" I heard someone familiar exclaimed from a distance. I glanced around to confirm my thoughts. A guy with wide smile was running towards my direction. I would say he looked rather weird as he ran to my direction. In fact, he looked like he was living in a fantasy? He stopped abruptly in front me, panting deeply.

That guy was one of my close friends that I met in University. Well, we had been friends since last year. It was a funny meeting but I was glad I found him. He had a unique name namely Anis. I guess that name common back there in his country? He was half Chinese and Malay. And apparently, he had gotten a scholarship to Tokyo University. I must say, this guy was a genius.

"What's up?" I asked. I knew he wanted something from me. If not, he would not running around looking for me. Well, I hope this would not take long as I had something crucial to attend after this. I would rather die than to miss that.

He put up his hand, signalling me to wait until his breathing come back to normal. I laughed half-heartedly and nodded my head to indicate I agreed to oblige him.

After his breath became normal like after 30 seconds, he looked at me with wide, pleading eyes. Oh no, that puppy eyes would not work on me. It would work, if it was my little sister's infamous puppy eyes. "Do you want to join us? We are going to watch a movie after this," he asked pleadingly. I laughed in return. "I am sorry but I have something to attend after this. I can't miss that one, it is really important to me," I explained gingerly, not wanting to hurt his feeling.

He grimaced. "Really? I was hoping you would join us," he stated in a small voice. I started to feel bad, but what I was going to attend wasn't something I could miss for life. In fact, I had been doing this since two years ago. It became a tradition for me. "I am really sorry. I'll join you guys next time. I promise,"

His ears perked at this and his mouth opened in excitement. His eyes were gleaming with happiness. "You promise?" He asked again. I nodded.

"Alright," he beamed. "I'll see you around then. Sorry if I had disturbed you man," He said. I shook my head and murmured 'It's okay.'

He never asked where I was going. For one he was not a busybody. If he knew something was off limits, he wouldn't push it. Like what he did just now. Although we had been friend for a year, but there was still a barrier between us. I couldn't just tell everyone my problems. I mean everyone had their own problems and I didn't want to add any burden on them. For me, having them around was enough.

I bought a strawberry cheesecake on the way. It was my sister's favourite and I was going to see her after this. After all, I swore an oath to see her every year on this particular day, 23RD September. Yes, it was her birthday. I took her for granted enough before and I regretted every single time of it.

I didn't realise it that I had reached my destination or maybe I was just being ignorant. Coming to this place hurt me. It hurt me so bad that it seemed I couldn't breathe well when I was here. Taking a deep breath, I mustered all of my courage. She would not like seeing me hopeless like this.

I walked a few metres from where I was standing. And here I was, standing on her graveyard. I wondered, how would it be like if she was still alive on this day? Would she still be my annoying little sister? Or had she somehow developed into a mature young lady? I laughed at the latter statement. It seemed rather impossible to happen. After all, she would always be my annoying little sister that I used to ignore.

"Hey sis. Happy 19th Birthday," I greeted her. "It has been a while since I have visited you. I am sorry but I was busy with college life." It was partially a truth and a lie. A truth because I was busy with assignment works and so on and a lie because I made myself busy. I actually always had time to visit her but I just couldn't muster my courage to visit her. That was why I made myself busy with my almost non-existent assignments.

"How are you?" I continued my one sided conversation. I could feel the breeze of Wednesday afternoon caressed my face gently, soothing me from what I was experiencing now.

"I brought along your most favourite cake. I am sorry I couldn't get you Halowon. The shop was closed today." She loved them to death. She ate them like almost every day that it made me wondered if she would get herself diabetes.

"The rest of the gang cannot come today. They are busy with the upcoming exams and graduations. They said they are sorry and they wish you happy birthday." He knew that was a lie. Seeing her grave before their eyes would just crush their hopes and dreams of seeing her around. Same like me, they couldn't move on from her death.

It was hard to move forward despite it had been two years since she died. Two long years since my little Mikan died. It was hard because they knew it, deep inside them they had no one to blame but them. If only her words were taken seriously, she could have been saved.

But we didn't listen to her. We thought she was fooling around.

That was why I could not come here always. Because of the guilt that dwelled inside of me. I was her big brother. Someone who was supposed to protect her during her hardships. Someone who was supposed to lend a hand to her.

But I didn't. I failed my job as a big brother. I was supposed to be a hero in her life. But instead, I had become a villain in her life.

With trembling hands, I opened the cake box and shove a spoonful of cake down my throat. Damn it. I could feel tears slowly building on my eye, threating to fall anytime soon. I wiped my eyes harshly with my hand but somehow it managed to get worst.

The cake was so bitter in my mouth. Since when did the cake taste do bitter? I thought it would be sweet. Not bitter like this.

But maybe it was just me.

'

_Kissing her brother's cheek, she laughed softly. "Don't deny it, will miss me someday,"_

"I miss you, Mikan. I know I had told you before I would never miss you but I do. I do, Mikan."

'

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Hello guys I have decided to rewrite the first chapter of Recollection from the author's point of view into Koko's point of view. It felt like something was missing before that I decided to rewrite it. But now it seems a lot is missing ._. Pardon me, I am just a rookie in writing T.T

Who do you guys want next? Natsume? or Hotaru?

Thanks for reading this and I hope you guys will leave me reviews? Any opinions and suggestions are accepted and also criticisms.

Roger and out.


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